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Archive for Mary Snyder

Aug
15

Where’s the Church?

by newhope

by Mary Snyder

Before I was the fun-loving, traveling author and speaker, I led a double life. Before you start thinking anything odd, let me explain my double life.

I was writing my book, God, Grace, and Girlfriends: Adventures in Faith and Friendships and blogging for Girls Getaway Cruise and serving as the director of the CASA program, where we worked with abused and neglected children. So, that was my double life—fun lover writer/blogger and director of a program that works with horrendous cases of child abuse. They are two very opposite ends of life—one happy and fun and the other filled with sorrow, sadness, and horror.

Working so closely with foster care gave me insight into a group of people I’d never considered before—foster children. More than 400,000 children are in foster care and many of them grow up in the foster care system. In fact, this year approximately 20,000 children will get too old for foster care and will be sent out on their own.

These are the children who grew up in the system. These are the young people whose parents never could get it together enough to get them back home. These are the children who weren’t adopted. Once out and living on their own, approximately half of these children will end up homeless. Many will end up in jail, become unwed mothers, go on welfare, become addicts, or abuse their own children. Again I ask: “Where’s the church?”

These children have no family and where’s their church family? Who helps them get a job, an education, a place to live? Sure, they have social workers to help them transition, but don’t these kids deserve something more? Who hugs them when things go bad? Who talks with them about the little things in life—and the big things? Who prays for them?

“Where’s the church?”

What if 25,000 churches said, “Let’s reach outside these walls and love one former foster child who has no one.” Consider the impact.

But let’s be realistic. Churches are large bodies of people that move slowly. What if just 25,000 church members said, “I’ll do it”? Consider the impact.

But it’s easy to overlook foster children. After all, most people don’t interact with them on a regular basis. After I left my job working with abused and neglected children, it became much easier to overlook them. I got busy doing good work—leading Bible study, writing Christian books, speaking at Christian events—and I lost sight of the needs surrounding me until the Lord reminded me again with a Facebook update of a former foster care child.

This child is doing well, but she still struggles. Who wouldn’t struggle after five foster homes in seven years? She makes it because a church family cares enough to make her a priority.

“Where’s the church?” This body can answer, “We are here!”

What about us? Maybe you’re not called to foster children. But God has a plan for you and your life. He wants you and me to move beyond the comfortable and into serving His people.

How can we be the church?

Be willing to step out of the comfortable. Are you willing to be uncomfortable? Maybe it’s a physical discomfort like working in the heat to help with a rebuilding. You could be like me and find it emotionally uncomfortable to work with abused children. I spent the first year in tears, but God used my time to show me a need.

Ask God to show you a need.  Pray for God to open your eyes to the needs right around you. You will be surprised at what He will show you.

Meet the needs God reveals to you. When God calls you to something, He will equip you for that work. He will provide you with the wisdom, discernment, and skills to meet that need. Does that mean you are all things to all people? No, but you can point people to the resources they need.

When the question is asked, “Where’s the church?” let’s stand together and say, “We are here!”

1 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
Jun
20

Loving Without a But

by newhope

by Mary Snyder

I may have to love her, but I don’t have to like her.

I’ll love her, but I’ll do it from far away.

I will love the sinner, but I will make a big deal of letting him know I personally hate the sin.

These are a few of the partial truths I’ve spoken through the years. I knew the Scriptures about loving others and loving my enemies, but I was much better at loving my friends.

John 13:34­–35 reads: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NIV1984)

It’s easy for me to love people who believe what I believe and think the way I think. It’s easy to love people who mirror me—middle-class, churchgoing, Jesus-following, and conservative. It’s the people who are different from me that I once struggled to love. People who lived differently, loved differently, and believed differently. Without common ground, I couldn’t find a way to love them.

Jesus knew I’d have this struggle so He met it head on in Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (NIV1984)

Does this mean I’m to love people who aren’t like me? Yes. And not only love those who aren’t like me, but love those who are my enemies. Does this mean I’m to love a person who has attacked my character? A person who’s cheated me? Someone who’s lied about me? Yes to all 3.

No Buts About It

Living out Jesus’ command in John 13 requires me to love without the but.

I will love her, but I don’t have to like her and I will also like her. I will love her and like her even if she’s very different from me or our personalities clash. I’ll remember that I have some serious character flaws of my own and the Lord continues to love me right in the middle of all my mess.

I’ll love her, but I’ll do it from far away and I’ll do it personally. Loving people Christ put in my life means I have to love them up close. Love is an action verb. If I’m so far away that the other person never sees my actions, then is it really love?

I will love the sinner, but I will make a big deal of letting him know I personally hate the sin and I’ll leave conviction to the Lord. Love one another. It’s a simple command. There are no additions to it. I won’t condone another’s sin, and I can appropriately share truth from God’s Word to him or her, but it’s also not my job to condemn the person.

Loving the easy people is something we can do in our strength. It doesn’t showcase Christ in our life. Loving my enemies is not something I can do on my own. It requires a constant inpouring from the Holy Spirit.

Loving people is a witness to Christ’s redeeming grace. It’s not about me; it’s all about Him.


Mary Snyder’s busy blog is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures. When she’s not cruising, she can be found at home with family near Birmingham, Alabama. Her first release from New Hope Publishers is God, Grace, and Girlfriends.

All Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 Biblica. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

0 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
May
21

Avoid the Mommy Comparison Trap

by newhope

by Mary Snyder

For years I wanted to be that mom. You know her: The one who seems to have it all together.

Her children are dressed like fashion plates with matching bows and color-coordinated backpacks. She shows up at every school party with her delicious homemade cookies iced with the monogram of each child. She serves on every committee, juggles all her commitments, bakes, sews, scrapbooks and still manages to look fashionable all the time.

I wanted to be her, but I never made it. I was thrilled when I found a bow that didn’t clash with my daughter’s outfit—yellow and purple match, right? My girls were lucky if I remembered to bring store-bought cookies to the party. When I tried juggling I usually ended up in a heap surrounded by failed attempts. And fashionable? I considered myself fashionable when I managed to match my T-shirt with my bleach-dotted sweatpants.

My desire to be that mom stretched into areas beyond my own performance. I wanted my girls to have the right friends, be in the right groups, and belong to the right clubs. But what does “right” mean?

For me, it meant I wanted my girls to be popular because I equated popularity with happiness. Actually, I was more interested in my happiness than in the happiness of my daughters. Yes, it sounds selfish because it was selfish. I wanted to be accepted into the in crowd, and I thought my entrance would come if I could just do it all “right.”

A Heart Change

My parenting suffered through those years as I sought the praise of others. I loved my girls but was constantly comparing myself to those around me and I was coming up short—or so I thought. My comparison was based on baking skills, fashion purchases, and my ability to create cute hairstyles for my girls. I wasn’t looking at the truth of motherhood—the heart.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.—Galatians 5:1 (NASB)

I am thankful the Lord turned my life around when I was still a young mom. The whole world looked different when I started putting Christ first. The opinion of others no longer held much importance in my life. I started praying more and worrying less.

No longer did it matter if I created the most amazing gift bags for the 3rd-grade party. It mattered that I sat down to listen to an 8-year-old girl tell me all about her day. It didn’t matter if I served as the president of the PTA. It did matter when I took a day off to just hang out with my girls.

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom in the company of other moms can be brutal. We all want to fit in and be accepted. We want everyone to love our children and love us. It’s hard not to fall into the trap of comparing yourself, but don’t fall!

God has a plan for every mom out there. He has a plan for each of your children. He loves them even more than you do. Trust Him. Focus your heart on Him and He will guide your steps.


Mary Snyder’s busy blog is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures. When she’s not cruising, she can be found at home with family near Birmingham, Alabama. Her first release from New Hope Publishers is God, Grace, and Girlfriends.

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

1 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
Apr
19

Mary Snyder: Great Girlfriend Adventure Update from Arizona

by newhope

Mary made a faith pit stop at the Wigwam Motel in Holbrook, AZ.

Author, speaker, and adventurer Mary R. Snyder gives us an update from her Great Girlfriend Adventure, a tour of historic Route 66, which began on April 12 in Oklahoma. She’s been through Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. Today, April 19, she leaves Pinetop, Arizona, makes a stop on the corner in Winslow, and ends up in Williams.

Tonight she plans to stay at the Canyon Motel in a caboose. Don’t miss her livestreaming from there tonight at 8 Central, 9 Eastern.

Mary Snyderis the author of God, Grace, and Girlfriends: Adventures in Faith and Friendship, available in paperback and ebook format. If you can join Mary this weekend in Arizona (Williams, Gallup) or New Mexico (Santa Fe), please do.

For more information and to follow Mary’s trip, check out her blog, Facebook page (MaryRSnyder), and Twitter account (@MaryRSnyder).

New Hope Digital also plans a closing podcast with Mary for Monday, April 23, as well. She will be writing a Voices column about the trip later this month too.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

0 Categories : Podcast
Apr
3

Mary Snyder to Kick Off Great Girlfriend Adventure

by newhope

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama—April 3, 2012—Join Mary R. Snyder, author of God, Grace, and Girlfriends, as she travels historic Route 66 on the Great Girlfriend Adventure. Beginning on April 12 and ending April 24, Snyder’s road trip will make stops in Oklahoma, Texas, Arizona, and New Mexico.

Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina will be hosting a kick-off party for the Great Girlfriend Adventure on Tuesday, April 3. The party will be streamed online live at maryrsnyder.com and also through Facebook and Twitter (@MaryRSnyder), with fun giveaways and prizes (11 a.m. EST or 10 a.m. CST).

The Great Girlfriend Adventure is about stories. Just as historic Route 66 holds stories from travelers of days gone by, this road trip is an opportunity for women to share their stories.

“We all have a story, and we all need someone willing to listen,” says Snyder.

Her journey begins in Oklahoma and will end in New Mexico. Along the way, she and her girlfriends have planned several “faith pit stops” to connect with women on the road.

These faith pit stops will take place at historic landmarks along Route 66. Activities include painting Scripture on Cadillacs at Cadillac Ranch in Texas, hanging out at the teepees at Wigwam Motel in Arizona, and taking pictures of the unique Blue Swallow Motel in New Mexico.

“The whole plan is filled with fun. And it will be fun, but God has more for us on that road,” Snyder says. “He has hearts and stories.”

If you can’t join her in person, follow Snyder and find out more through her blog, Facebook, and Twitter (@MaryRSnyder). NewHopeDigital.com also will be recording 2 podcasts with Snyder during her time on the road. Be sure to check back for updates.


About Mary R. Snyder

Mary R. Snyder is a blogger, speaker, and author with a passion for teaching women God’s truth. She connects with women through her messages of hope, joy, and adventure in Christ. In her new book God, Grace, and Girlfriends: Adventures in Faith and Friendship, Snyder explores the importance of friendship and gives tips for building Christ-centered relationships.

Snyder is also Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader. When she’s not cruisin’ and connecting on the ocean or Route 66, Mary makes theBirmingham, Alabama, area home.

To keep up with Mary Snyder and the Great Girlfriend Adventure, visit her blog, Facebook page, or follow her on Twitter (@MaryRSynder).


About New Hope Publishers

Representing more than 80 authors and more than 130 individual works, the mission of New Hope® Publishers is to provide books that challenge readers to understand and be radically involved in the mission of God. New Hope Publishers is the general trade publishing imprint for WMU®, a missions auxiliary to the Southern Baptist Convention. New Hope Publishers is a member of the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association (ECPA).

For more information about New Hope Publishers, visit www.NewHopeDigital.com.

1 Categories : Articles, News
Mar
27

Take the Heart Gauge Quiz

by newhope

by Mary R. Snyder

I love church. From the preaching and teaching to the worship and music, church is the place I can rest, refresh, and get rejuvenated for the week ahead. 

Church is the place I love to connect. There’s something so precious about building relationships with my sisters in Christ. We may not have one thing in common, beyond a love for Jesus—but that alone should be enough.

Sad that’s not always the case. There are times when Christians fight, backbite, and are just downright mean. 

As believers we must make it our business to love one another. This can be our greatest witness to a nonbelieving world. The way we treat one another is a picture of our heart. What do nonbelievers see when they look at you and your relationship with your sisters in Christ? How do you treat others in the body?

Those who don’t know the Lord are not impressed with the number of Bible studies you’ve led or the amount of Scripture you can quote. They aren’t impressed that you serve on 6 committees, sing in the choir, and teach Sunday School. People who don‘t know the Lord are looking at how you treat others in the good times and in the bad times. This is their gauge. How do you measure up?

Heart Gauge: Where are you?

Wholehearted—love people where they are. Try to find the good in all, but you are realistic and accept people as human and imperfect. You forgive those who hurt you and move on.

Halfhearted—love most people where they are. Look for good in most situations. Often try to make people fit into your idea of righteous. Struggle with holding grudges and forgiving people who hurt you.

Hard-hearted—refuse to accept anyone who doesn’t fit into your idea of righteous. Holds grudges and won’t forgive.

These are 3 very broad, simplistic categories, and it’s possible that you fall between two of these. But what if this is the only gauge someone has for you? Strip away all the church stuff, all the community stuff, and just look at how you treat others—what’s there?

Trust me, I know. I’ve given myself this very test and I’ve failed. Some months are better than others, but I’ve been the worst: gossiping about fellow Christians, judging my friends, and manipulating situations and people. And I’ve been on the receiving end of these as well.

God took me down a road—a long, heartbreaking road where I saw my actions for what they are—sin. I learned the hard way, but oh how I learned. I pray daily that the Lord give me the ability and the grace to love others right where they are, just like He loves me right in the middle of my messy life.

Does this mean I agree with the actions of all my fellow Christians? No, of course not. I can disagree with a person and still love them. We can disagree and find a way to work through our differences with love and respect.

How can we reach out to those who are lost if we can’t even get along with one another?


Mary Snyder’s busy blog is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures. When she’s not cruising, she can be found at home with family near Birmingham, Alabama. Her first release from New Hope Publishers is God, Grace, and Girlfriends.

0 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
Feb
10

3 Warning Signs of a Poisonous Friendship

by newhope

by Mary R. Snyder

I wanted to be her friend. It was my focus and my plan. I wrapped my plotting in good intentions with thoughts and statements like: We need to make her feel welcome and It’s hard being the pastor’s wife.  

I wanted to be her ally, her closest confidante, and her best friend. My motives had nothing to do with her and everything to do with my selfishness. I thought her friendship would elevate my status. I made it my mission to make it happen.   

Here’s the thing with such a focused mission—you quickly become blinded to any thing and everything that might interfere with your singular goal. I let the little warning signs slip by. I disregarded the half-truths I told (which are whole lies). I turned a deaf ear to wise counsel from trusted friends. 

I didn’t consider how my selfish actions would impact all those around me—my girlfriends, Bible study girls, my family, and my own testimony. The noxious fallout resulting from my selfish actions was great.  

Here are a few warning signs I disregarded:

  • The dangers of WIFM

WIFM is an acronym for what’s in it for me. When you approach a friendship with a what’s-in-it-for-me attitude, you are placing unfair expectations on the other person. What do you hope to achieve from the friendship? Are you hoping to use this person as a building block to get what you want, be it status or access to a group. That does not sound very Christ-like does it?

Friendships aren’t built on using people to gain access to people or status (or power or influence or wealth.) And they aren’t the building blocks of your self worth. We are all valued for who we are in Christ. 

  • Out-of-order priorities

When a friendship regularly takes precedence over family or other valued relationships, it’s time to step back and reconsider. Certainly, there are times for friends, but when you often sacrifice family (or spouse) time for a friend, then your priorities are out of order. 

Your family deserves more than that, and a true friend would not ask you to choose between her and them.

  • Minimal Jesus time

If you find you’re spending less and less time with Jesus, ask yourself why. For me, I was running from the reality that I was in a bad relationship. Instead of working it out in prayer with Jesus, I ran away.

I didn’t want to pray; the conviction was too much to handle. I didn’t want to read Scripture, because the Bible pointed out that I was heading down the wrong path. I knew I was traveling the wrong road, but I didn’t want to stop.

My selfish motives came from my own insecurities. I thought this friendship would make me more valued and important. It did neither. But out of all the heartbreak and brokenness, I learned some very valuable lessons. Now God is using me and the mess caused by my selfishness for His good glory.


Mary Snyder’s busy blog is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures. When she’s not cruising, she can be found at home with family near Birmingham, Alabama.

Her first release from New Hope Publishers is God, Grace, and Girlfriends. Check out a podcast wtih Mary on the subject of finding great girlfriends by God’s grace.

0 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
Jan
27

New Hope Digital Art Forum: Life in the Light

by newhope

by David Dinkins

Title: Life in the Light

Artist’s description: I tried to illustrate ideas and activities that portray light and life. I feel like we can find true joy when we recognize that God blesses us with each day. We should take advantage of them with our family and friends.

Question: Are you daily living in the light of Christ’s grace?

Contact: Email David Dinkins at stanlee314@gmail.com or friend him on Facebook.

Thoughtful comments, ideas, and questions regarding the art are welcome in the comments section below.

Editor’s note: You may be interested in 2 of our featured books this month. How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? by Rhonda Rhea explores many of the almost 300 references to light in the Bible. In God, Grace, and Girlfriends by Mary R. Snyder you’ll learn the importance of friendships; discover tips on building healthy friendships; and find dozens of possible trips, events, and adventures for you and your girlfriends to explore.

2 Categories : Articles, Digital Art Forum
Jan
18

What Kind of Light Are You? The 6 Lights of Friendship

by newhope

by Mary R. Snyder

I love good light. 

Every morning the first thing I do is open all the blinds in my house.  I want to see the light spill into the room. 

However, when I recently discovered some additional lines on my face I wanted to jerk the blinds down and use only candles for lighting!  

After some thought, I determined the darkness would keep me from seeing the lines, but it wouldn’t make them fade. So, I took action and bought a strong magnifying mirror complete with high-wattage lighting, just so I could inspect those wrinkles  more closely.

I soon realized the megamirror made tiny lines look like major crevices.  Therefore, I went back to opening the blinds, letting the natural light shine in, and made a decision to invest in some good eye cream.

Good light shows things just as they are —like those tiny lines on my face. We are called to be the light to the world.  We don’t need to magnify the tiny or minimize the important. Just light it up and God will do the rest.

Light Up a Friendship

In my relationships, I wonder if I’m more of a megawatt bulb or a tiny tea light.  I decided I’ve been both—and I’ve had friends who’ve done the same. Some shined so brightly it hurt my eyes to look at them and others were so dim I almost had to strike a match to find them.

I’ve been a few different types of lights in my friendships, maybe you’ve seen me around:

  • Spotlight—obnoxiously bright. This brilliant light emphasizes every tiny speck and dot.  She’s the girl who quickly points out the flaws in others, but keeps herself behind the glare.
  • Lighthouse—swings a wide arc of light to showcase danger.  She shows you the dangers and moves on.  She’s a great friend to have.  She doesn’t dwell on the problems, just casts a light over them, and let’s you decide if you want to take the risk.
  • Laser pointer—focused.  She may highlight your greatest attribute or your biggest flaw, but she has a singular focus.  She can be your greatest advocate or your biggest stumbling block.  
  • Flashlight—shines bright but can dim quickly.  She’s great to have around when it’s too dark to know the way.  She is trustworthy and true; don’t overwork her, but trust her.  She’s a workhorse. 
  • Candlelight—soft, flickering and great for hiding flaws.  She’s the friend who doesn’t push too hard or ask too much.  Low on light and low on challenge.
  • Lamplight—casts a warm pool of light.  She’s friendly and neither too bright nor too dim. She’s the girl who sees you for who you are and loves you right where you are. 

I’ve stood behind the harsh spotlight as I pointed out the flaws of others.  I’ve pointed a laser on a molehill and made it look like a mountain.  These days I’m trying to be the lamplight.  I want to cast a warm light and make those around me feel loved.  


Mary Snyder’s busy blog is one of multiple ways crowds of women connect with this leader’s message of hope, joy, and adventure in Jesus Christ. As Premier Christian Cruises Girl’s Get-A-Way group coordinator, contest director, and girlfriend leader, Mary has a following that’s near, far, and across cultures. When she’s not cruising, she can be found at home with family near Birmingham, Alabama. Her first release from New Hope Publishers is God, Grace, and Girlfriends.

0 Categories : Articles, Columns, Mary Snyder
Jan
13

January 2012: Living in the Light of God’s Grace

by newhope

by Randy Bishop

Our theme on New Hope Digital this month is Light Living: Basking in the Love of the Savior. What a great way to start 2012!

Christmas is not that long past, and when I began thinking of light, I was drawn to John 1:4–5 (ESV): “In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

For those of us in Christ, we have been called out of darkness and into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). Truly, we have been enlightened (John 1:9; following the New Revised Standard).

I think of biblical enlightening in 2 ways. First, there is the sudden, miraculous burst of light we call salvation. Think of a bright light being turned on in a dark room. It is immediate and, in this case, permanent.

Charles Wesley, in one of my favorite hymns, described it this way: “Thine eye diffused a quick’ning ray; I woke, the dungeon flamed with light; my chains fell off, my heart was free” (“And Can It Be That I Should Gain”).

Second, we are enlightened day by day, little by little. Think of the dawning of a new day. The sun’s rays only gradually wash into those remote corners of the forest, those deep hollows between the hills. But, moment by moment, the sun rises higher and higher until all bask in the noonday heat.

This is our sanctification—the process by which God transforms us and shines His light on the dark, sinful places in our lives. Let’s welcome His glorious love into our deepest need.

This January we focus on Rhonda Rhea’s latest release, How Many Lightbulbs Does It Take to Change a Person? Bright Ideas for Delightful Transformation. Through humor and stories, Rhonda explores many of the almost 300 references to light in the Bible. The light of Christ is the only means that can provide positive, lasting change in our lives.

And we don’t hide the light we’ve been given under a bushel, do we? No, we are to share with both believing friends and with the lost near and far. For more on that, listen to Mary R. Snyder’s podcast as she discusses her book God, Grace, and Girlfriends and read a powerful call to action from Kathi Macias on the issue of modern slavery. Kathi’s first novel focused on human trafficking, Deliver Me from Evil, is out now and the second novel in the “Freedom” trilogy, Special Delivery, will release in March.

Just a reminder: Nook books are now available. Click here to read a press release that contains a link to our full list of current ebooks. With free reading apps, these books can be read on your PC, Mac, iPad, iPhone, and Android.


All Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

1 Categories : Articles, Columns, Randy Bishop
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